We spoke loosely about the 3rd step today in a meeting – it’s always interesting what different responses one hears from around the table. I heard, “God doesn’t wash windows or cut the grass, but rather leaves that to us – that’s our job.” The context meaning: God takes care of us but wants us to help where we are able. “God helps him who helps himself.”
As I listened, there was a lot going through my mind as usual – a lot of it I can pull up and speak to – but sometimes not. Today I spoke of how free I became after I finally worked the steps and placed God where he always has been (I just disserted Him) in his place of omnipotence and then there’s me in my place as a stumbler who falls down often but gets back up again.
I also spoke of how difficult my early recovery began, because I could barely sit down with a group of people – my mind churring in a far too busy kettle, attempting to determine what everyone else was thinking – about me. Yes, super self-absorbed and very cautious of those around me – a shield if you will. I had heard and believe that there are many like I was, attempting to contemplate everyone’s next move – it’s a self-defense mechanism for those like me afraid of people and what might come next.
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